Senin, 28 Februari 2011

Ke titik nol


Setelah sempat beranjak ke angka + 200, kini harus bergeser kembali ke posisi kritis – 50.
Secepat mesin kasir menguras habis lembaran dan koin-koin, sayangnya saya tak menghabiskannya untuk itu. Karena sayalah sebatang tiang untuk beberapa pasak yang melintang. Setumpuk kertas-kertas tagihan sekecap menguras ke angka minus.
Sekarang hanya tinggal berharap, pada dering telepon yang memberi kabar dari setumpuk berkas yang memberi kepastian. Sebelum waktu terus menggeser ke angka minus lebih besar, atau paling tidak saya bisa kembali ke titik nol.
Optimis beradu pesimis, terkadang memang hidup hanya memberikan kesempatan kita untuk terus menggali lubang. Tetapi saya senang melakukannya sendiri tanpa harus melibatkan tangan orang lain.


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"Don't exist. Live. Get out, explore. Thrive. Challenge authority. Challenge yourself. Evolve. Change forever. It's time to be aggressive. You've started to speak your mind, now keep going with it, but not with the intention of sparking controversy or picking a germane fight. Get your gloves on, it's time for rebirth. There IS no room for the nice guys in the history books. THIS IS THE START OF A REVOLUTION. THE REVOLUTION IS YOUR LIFE. THE GOAL IS IMMORTALITY. LET'S LIVE, BABY. LET'S FEEL ALIVE AT ALL TIMES. TAKE NO PRISONERS. HOLD NO SOUL UNACCOUNTABLE, ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR OWN. IF SOMETHING DOESN'T HAPPEN, IT'S YOUR FAULT. Make this moment your reckoning. Your head has been held under water for too long and now it is time to rise up and take your first true breath. Do everything with exact calculation, nothing without meaning. Do not make careful your words, but make no excuses for what you say. Fuck em' all. Set a goal for everyday and never be tired." — Brian Krans (A Constant Suicide)

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